The Promise ( secret garden )

I felt so peaceful after listening to this ...
The Promise - Secret Garden

Truth or Money ?

Lately, I have been watching this reality Tv show
"The moment of Truth".
The title of the show pretty much says it all.
Basically, it's about telling the truth and getting paid for it in a huge amount of money which may come up to about 500 000 USD.
So far, I have yet to see anyone passing the 100 000 USD mark.
Cause in exchage of the money, they hurt feelings of the people
they love ... or not love...or pretend to love....

There was this episode that particularly caught my attention and caused an uproar in US.

Lauren cleri
-the most hated woman in America after the show was aired.

Lauren Cleri’s ex-boyfriend Frank came on the show to ask her a question “If I wanted to get back together with you, would you leave your husband?”

Since her friend Monica didn’t want to hear it, though, she pressed the button to interrupt it.

So they replaced it with another question, still asked by her ex-boyfriend. “Do you believe I am the man you should be married to?” No way to get out of hearing this. She says yes. That answer is true. This is enough to bring her to the $100,000 mark. Her husband tells her to just keep going since it’s not like she can upset him any more. He admits he’s sometimes unhappy with the marriage, not that anybody’s surprised. Her mom wants her to stop now and take the money (Fox, 2008).

If you're curious to how it ends, whether she won the money, whether the marriage survived,then you might want to see this video:

Now the Question is :

Would you risk it all to win a huge amount of money?
After all, Honesty is the best policy!

The truth hurts, but it also sets you free.
But what if it chains someone up in order to set you free just like the show?
Okay, let me rephrase my word.
But what if in the process of setting of yourself free , you hurt the feelings of those you love.

To me,the hardest thing to endure is to have
your loved ones there with you and to be asked questions
that can threaten your relationship with them.

Anyway, after a long ranting, my answer is NO.
No way I'm going to sacrifice my family in exchange for the money.

TRUTHFULLY, 500 000 USD is a big sum of money.
I wouldn't be surprise if there are people out there who are willing
to reveal their darkest secret in order to get the money

Currently on:

Take A Bow (Official Remix) Ft. Q Da Kid - Rihanna

Its either you die or.... I die

There's quite some stuff that is going through my mind recently. 
 Just as I am about to turn off my laptop,
 my mind kept thinking about this movie that I saw
 when I was back in Malaysia(can't remember its name though but it is based on true story) 

  Basically it is about people who give up their places on a lifeboat in order to let the others survive...  

Now my question.

If you were in their shoes, would you give up your place in order to let others survive?

My answer ? 
I............ don't think I will 

 One Simple reason....

When I cant even  give up my seats in the metro
 ( sometimes I pretend to be asleep in order to escape from the "old grandma" .. I know its awful) 
what makes me think that I would give up my life for others.

  I know it is a really weird random thought.

okay, that's it from me. 

Viva La Vida - Coldplay


The word "funeral" has taken a lot of course in my life.

Back when I was in the band during my secondary school days,
I enjoyed going for funerals.
Cause "funeral' back then = my pocket money
Of course its tiring cause we had to march under the sun or rain.
But I have a bunch of great friends.
We laughed,chit-chatted (we only did this when we were blocks away from the funeral home where the service was held)
But when it was time for us to play our best piece to the deceased, we would be very serious.

However as I begin my walk into adulthood, my perspective of " funeral " has changed alot.
Probably because I was put into their shoes.
I have attended Christian and non-Christian funerals.
And I know
that there's a difference in attending Christian and non-Christian funerals.
For some people, death is the end of life
while for others, death is just the beginning of life.

And no matter how you define or compare "funerals"
It doesn't, however, stop the grief.

Excuse me? There's a parcel for you!

Have you ever been 18? 
Do you remember how it was like to be 18, 
and have your whole future stretched out before you, 
glorious opportunities ripe for the taking?

Have you ever had all the adults

 suddenly cornering you and asking you what you want to do with your life? 
Where you want to go? 
Which place to study?

Have you ever waited with sweaty palms,
 waiting to hear someone over the phone telling you whether you had won a college place,
 a scholarship, a competition?
 Have you ever spent nights staring at your ceiling,
 wondering how to make a decision that will greatly impact your future?

Have you ever been torn between your wildest hopes and ambitions; 
and the realistic limitations of finance and your own capabilities? 
Have you ever agonised about whether your plans were in line with the One who has the highest plans for you?

Have you ever believed that you can do anything that you dream of, 
if only you try?
 Have you ever been convinced that in your own small way, 
you can make a difference for the better;
 change the world?

To be naive, to be inexperienced, 
to be hopeful and optimistic and idealistic and pseudo-cynical and insecure all at once.
 To love for the very first time, 
and get your heart crushed like brittle ice under your lover's feet.

And it's all part of a parcel of being 18,
 for the first and last time.
May you be happy being 18 my dear sister...
aLL the best in your exams ya!!! ^_^

My Smile

Okay people ... today I've decided to do something out of my normal entries....
Behold my citizens, I declare that today is FLUFF day, when one can write as much fluff as they want!

Stuffs that make me ^_^ smile :

1.  Travelling

Okay... not by plane
But this!!

2. A warm and cozy bed. (especially when I'm experiencing winter here in Moscow)

3.  My cam-whoring skills

4. Food and that includes pot luck-ing 


5. Chocolate cake.

6. Letters! Bythe way I don't mean bills and advertisementsor even emails but real letters written by
 people. Though I rarely ever get them now, probably because I don't send any...

7. My pets 
(Shiro , Bobby , Mr & Mrs Smith & my beloved Mr. Top Pan )


He has a pair of fake-looking eyeballs.. I mean seriously..don you think so?

My Bobby 

& She is about a size of a chicken ..
and yup she is definitely smaller than a cat

And yes ... she smokes... 

8. The moment especially after a big exam... what a big relieve..

9. Remembering something funny that I did or said months or years ago. 
Time makes good memories better.

You may have noticed that in this list 
I didn't include the perpetual "God, family and friends " list.
 That is because these are so much more
 important to me that
 it doesn't just make me smile,
 it is the foundation of my security and identity. 
and of course it makes me smile deep inside.

Medical Specialty

Veysman, B. Physician, know thyself. BMJ 2005; 331:1529.

For those who wants to know what medical specialty that they want to pursue in future but still unsure may check out this algoritm I found over the internet.

Mine's opthalmology... What about yours?

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!!

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival or should I say Happy Mooncake Festival Ya people!!!
Doesn't it reminds you of your home and family?
Well I do...

Feeling tired...

It's 4.30 am now in Moscow and I'm still not asleep...
Because I need to finish my powerpoint presentation before class tomorrow.
I'm feeling very sleepy now...

sob sob...
miss my bed

Chinese or Malaysian?

The most cliche questions people ask when they 1st meet me!


My dilemma....
Chinese? Malaysian?

I just hate it when people (especially Chinese people) say,
"oh well,I'm not Malaysian. I don't feel like I belong to country. I'm just Chinese, and that is it."
And I understand why -Because the people who rule my country are not secure enough to let go off their power, of their bigotry, of their herd mentality and their selfishness
and are afraid of any change to the status quo.

Remember the countless, numerous forms that we've filled in ever since primary school. The race boxes where you mark "Melayu", "Cina", "India" or "lain-lain".

Why do we feel the need to categorise ourselves by race? Why do we say "I'm Indian" or "I'm Chinese", when really....all that matters is that we are Malaysians.

I mean seriously you don't go out and call an african of French descent a french African. You just call them French.You don't address some people as an Italian American. You just call them Americans... right!

I am not saying that I should forget the fact that I am a chinese.In fact I am a chinese.And I am proud of it.And of course it does not mean that as the
4th generation emigrant of me,I have no rights to identify myself with the country that my ancestors originated from. Just because my great great grandparents moved to a faraway land, risking their lives in order to seek a better life; means I should divorced my roots entirely?

And it matters so much to me that I'm both a Malaysian and Chinese.Simple because
being both is not a crime.
The crime is only when we let ethnicity separating us instead of having nationality uniting us.

Russian Visa

Today marks the 5th day of my foot print on the land of Russia.But these 5 days doesn't pass by easily. The Russian government suddenly decides that everybody who steps into their country should must have their visas done within 3 working days regardless of even if your present visa expire two or three months later.

Failure to do so will cause one to pay a fine of 1000 roubles (about RM 140) for a day late.And so... now all foreigners studying in MMA rushes to queue in the "dekanat" (dean's office) in order to get their visas done.Did I mention queue? Opps... Does this look like a queue to you ?

We started queueing since 8.30 am yesterday although the office would only be open at 2 pm.And thank God we're able to settle our visas. This scenario has been an every year thing for us in MMA.
Sigh...How I wish things will be different next year.

A must when queueing up - MP3 and Food.

Words of Wisdom:

Never drink water there cause you don't want to end up going to the loo often.