Emo post : Christmas nostalgia..

Christmas is making me nostalgic and I tend to think more of my loved ones who are far away …

My philosophy class!!

In Russia, medical students are required to take up philosophy classes. Personally, I feel that Philosphy class "should" be interesting cause I've heard how interesting philosophy classes can be from my other friends in UK.I guess there are no philosophy classes in Malaysia.And I believe all of us know why!! But because philosophy classes are in russian and I'm totally tone deaf when it comes to Russian language ,thus I don't really understand the essence of philosophy. But I did have a discussion with a friend on philosophy .. (I know what a boring conversation!) But hey , its interesting k..^_^

Okay, the topic of our discussion was "Does God exist?" (remember, philosophical point of view ya!)

And there was this theory proposed by Pascal’s Wager and his argument was:

1. We can either believe that God exists, or that He does not.
2. If you believe in God and He does exist, you get a big reward (Heaven).
3. If you believe in God but He doesn’t exist, you lose nothing.
4. If you don’t believe in God and He does exist, you lose big time (er..Hell I think..)
5. If you don’t believe in God and He doesn’t exist anyway, you lose nothing.

Conclusion: You might as well believe than not believe.

Interesting, no? It’s not a perfect argument, but I like it anyway…

In philosophy, people are taught to think logically, and now I’m going to put my new found thinking skills to the test!

See I might be paranoid( but I think its true) , but I think my face has grown fatter since coming to Russia… According to my mom (which is of course not proven but claims that she "eat salt more than I eat rice"), distribution of our body fat will re-adjust after a period of staying in Russia to provide insulation. Since the face is exposed to the cold all the time, our body fat will move up to provide more insulation.

So if we follow that line of thought, those parts of our bodies which are always covered up will become thinner whereas those which are exposed to the cold will become fatter.Hmmm...

Assuming that this is true, I will have a fat face, huge hands, feet like Big Foot’s, flat boobs!!

oh well, that'S me signing off ya!! I would really want to know if someone can come up with a better argument ... haha

My most often used phrases in Russia

1 . Urghh...Why my face keep peeling off one?

(Not this)

2. Wah..why are your legs so dry?

3. Har.... Increase price again.It was just .....roubles when I first came to Moscow.

4. This costs .... roubles, times 7.5.. that would be RM.... (gasp) WALAO EH, WHY SO EXPENSIVE ONE???

4. So... cold... (teeth chattering)

5. (while walking) .. puff, grunt, wheez, gasp.. *rest awhile* puff, grunt, wheez, gasp.. NOT YET REACH AH???

6. No, I’m not Japanese
7. No, I’m not Korean
8. No, I’m not from China

Happy Birthday Kim Kim

Happy Birthday Kim Kim !!
May you and your family be blessed abundantly.

P/S : The song is dedicated to you ya!!So must listen k k k!!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

For those who knows me well enough, they certainly knows about my passion.ummm maybe not passion ..the word passion is too strong .. "preference" over instrumental musics with orchestra on the top of my list,followed by single instruments (eg, piano, guitar , CLARINET , saxophone etc etc etc)

About guitar, I just can't stop listening to this piece that this guy Graham Choo ( a Singaporean kid) is playing... and of course my 2 favourite guitarist is just right in my block (E.C Li and LMN ). Why ? Cause I can order them to play any songs that I want. Of course its so much cheaper than hiring a group of violinist to play for you.

Unlike bulls, they are much more easier to handle. I don't have to pull their hairs just to get them play ... ^_^

Basically, they are really nice people. I just pray that apart from medicine , they will be higher achievers in this area of their lives.. maybe like Graham Choo or even better!!

My new "girlish" template

oh well .. a new look for my blog ^_^.. I was getting sick and tired of my previous blog template that I had to change it.I was planning to change it on the 1st of january... A new year, a new start, and a new template. But I just couldn't wait to change it. hah... finally ...However, this new look of my blog certainly does not spell me.. It's not me at all..anyway I'm tired... so adios people!


Align Center

In the twinkling stars that dance like fireflies
In the blushing fruit that hangs upon the vine
In the face of a baby as he forms his first smile

I see you

In the whisper of the wind's soft lullaby
In the laughter and the roar of the rushing tide
In the song of a sparrow as he takes his first flight

I hear you

Why do you hide among the nameless and forgotten
Why do you walk along these long forsaken roads
Calling to me in the hungry and the homeless
Calling me to water your thirst

So I'll give you my heart and my song
In a world where so much is right
But so much is wrong
Your love is my beginning and I know it won't be too long

Till I see you

P/S : I was inspired when I first heard her on MTV channel and she really caught my attention. The lyrics are simple but that's what makes it beautiful. Easy to understand and yet deep .

Awkward moments!

Yeah... I've been thru soooo many awkward moments. Often I cover my head in embarassment, wanting to disappear magically or wishing someone would help me out but almost always I never get my way.

I often wonder why people want to date over a meal. Personally,I think mealtimes are the most embarassing moments for me. I don't know what to order that ain't so expensive but not so cheap that I look as if I underrate my date's financial prowess (not that I have any date before). Then when it's time for my soup, I just hope that it won't drip over my lips (yea yea I know some of you never have these problems, gahhh). Then, while trying to fit in a conversation I'll be wondering what to do with the chicken tendon that I accidentally put into my mouth. To spit it out or what? And then after that, the whole meal thing, I stand up, trying to disguise my stomach that has considerably swelled after the whole date. Forget about looking ravishing as I sashayed into the restaurant earlier.

I have this problem about sustaining conversations. . Enduring to the end... trying and racking your brains for something, anything to say. And then, when you say something you wish you didn't,and awkwardness creeps in.

I need a social consultant. Now!

Christians as doormat ?

Did you understand what cliched books meant when they said "her eyes wide, she opened her mouth to say something, and then closed it shut." Well,I would not want to say that it happened to me...but Hey .. everybody somehow went through that period right.

Don't understand? Have you ever been in the position where you were just about to fire off a snappy retort to someone who super annoyed you with her assumptious comment.She asked you to do something and while you were going to do it, even though you weren't that keen on it but because she wanted you to and you wanted to make things easier for her. And suddenly she said, "Waa, only doing that bit ahh!" (to that effect).Instantly the Flame of the Wrongly Accused flared up in you and you wanted to say in a very irritated tone, "I'm going to do this first."

And as you were about to do it, something stopped you before you could get the words out. You know how, when you think, you don't think in words but rather are led by emotions or senses? Well, some sense in you reminded you that you had to be patient. And thus you kept quiet.

Anyway, what I want to say today is that being a Christian is being a doormat! Not fighting back, not defending yourself, not demanding your rights! You get stepped on, taken for granted, overlooked, unappreciated by everybody because you won't stand up for yourself! You see? YOU SEE?! And the God you serve was the biggest doormat of all! The only difference is, his doormat was vertical and in the shape of a cross!

In my opinion, Jesus' instructions to us, his followers, do sound like "be a doormat". Things such as:

1. If a man slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek to him too.
2. Be quiet when people speak to you in anger.
3. Pray for those who persecute you.
4. Do not seek vengeance or revenge.
5. Love those who hate you.

And so on. His whole life was a testimony to serving others and not himself: washing his disciples' feet, preaching to the crowds although he was exhausted and hungry.

But I think of it this way...if my being a doormat for Christ can help to usher someone into the House of God, get someone interested in Him...then, I am willing to be one.

Another thought that I had was, (and this thought didn't feel like it came from me) before we can soar like eagles, our wings have to be strengthened first. Sometimes I'm so eager to fly off and explore my fullest potential that I forget that I need to grow stronger and firmer in my foundations first.

I think this is the period when God is putting many challenges in my life to build up the character I need to stay strong in Him and I thanked God for the support of the groups of friends that I've had near me all my life.

Alright, sleep is calling my name and I must not keep it waiting. Farewell dear readers! Phew.. it has been a long time since I really sit down and think what I to blog.. ^_^

McDonald's Moscow Children's Day

Today after class, myself,adeline,shuba and jimmy went for lunch in McDonald's near Frozenskaya metro.Apparently, they are selling colorful, paper hands for 10 roubles with proceeds going to needy children.Well,I just want to encourage you guys to participate and help make a difference in a child's life.

MMA - Behind the stethoscope

"Behind the Stethoscope" is the 1st ever official bi-monthly publication of the SMSA in Moscow.
I really do appreciate those who put their hands and time into making this publication published. As you can see (from the picture) "Behind the Stethoscope" brings update ranging from the latest SMSA news & upcoming events.

Academic highlights

First hand story from the doctors in Malaysia on their specialties.
And this month it is all about obstetricians!

Sports Highlights

Welfare highlights

Culture highlights

Featured restaurant for the month is Starlight Diner . However, I do think that maybe next time they could probably ask for CJ - If you've read her blog, you'll definitely know that she's the best person for the job!

Okay, that's all..Gotta get back to my books.. I'm looking forward for the next issue of Behind the Stethoscope.And I hope you guys too...

CHINA - hair band scam

Article adapted from one of my junk mails ......

Beware when you are traveling to China , just try to be careful when you are buying hair bands down the road who knows what it is made from?

Be careful of hair bands at open markets around the city too - they are probably from China since they are purchased in bulk and very very cheap !!!!
Take a good look before buying hair bands in future - especially like the following kind.....

BEIJING (AFP) - Used condoms are being recycled into hair bands in southern China threatening to spread sexually-transmittable diseases they were originally meant to prevent, state media reported Tuesday

In the latest example of potentially harmful Chinese-made products, rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdong province , China Daily newspaper said.

'These cheap and colorful rubber bands and hair ties sell well ..... threatening the health of local people,' it said.
Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said.

'People could be infected with AIDS, (genital) warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while waving their hair into plaits or buns,' the paper quoted a local dermatologist who gave only his surname, Dong, as saying. A bag of ten of the recycled bands sells for just 25 sen (three cents), much cheaper than others on the market, accounting for their popularity, the paper said.

A government official was quoted as saying recycling condoms was illegal. China 's manufacturing industry has been repeatedly tarnished this year by a string of scandals involving shoddy or dangerous goods made for both domestic and foreign markets.

In response, it launched a public relations blitz this summer aimed at playing up efforts to strengthen monitoring systems.

Check your kids hair bands and make sure they do not put them in their mouth while trying to plait or tie their hair.

Pudgy, Portly and altogether Pumply ....

Lately I was inspired  by a friend (SarahP who adores Mr Darcy from Pride & prejudice- and yes it was written by Jane Austen ) to read on Jane Austens' books. I used to read her books but as time passed, I kind of lost my touch with English literatures. Perhaps maybe I find literatures a little wee bit boring.^_^

I think everybody knows Jane Austen.Her famous work ,"sense and sensibility", pride and prejudice", "emma" ....Okay I only know 3  of her works.Don't get me wrong coz I love my Jane Austen.It is just that  I am just not the biggest enthusiasts in the world on her . I do admit that I have not even read every single book she had written. In short, I enjoy her observance,details, wit and her ability to have readers (like Sarah P) feel as though they have infiltrated a world that has long since passed.

(this is for you Sarah ... ya!)

She writes in a way that I can picture the stiffness of Mr Darcy and  that I can reach out and touch Anne's pain or suffer with Eleanor's shyness. I'm just as annoyed with Kitty and Lydia as if I had lived in the Bennett house and had to suffer with their nonsense. 

If you would really wanna read more (its a very good book ) you may go to this website

"Mrs Musgrove was of a comfortable substantial size, infinitely more fitted by nature to express good cheer and good humour, than tenderness and sentiment; and while the agitations of Anne's slender form, and pensive face, may be considered as very completely screen, Captain should be allowed some credit for the self- command with which he attended to her large fat
personal size and mental sorrow have certainly no necessary proportions. A large bulky figure has as good a right to be in deep affliction, as the most graceful set of limbs in the world. But, fair or not fair, there are unbecoming conjunctions, which reason will patronise in vain, - which taste cannot tolerate, - which ridicule will seize. "

Is she implying that the pudgy, portly and altogether plumply do not do solemness and sadness and indeed - that when they DO do it, they look ridiculous and funny?

Is she implying that the pudgy, portly and altogether plumply should stick to loud guffaws and determined streaks of happiness with the sole intent of promoting other people to be happy and merry and perhaps engage in a little jig around the drawing room?

So my question is: Is Jane Austen a sizeist? 

I think I shall go for a turn about the room and recover my senses.I think I am being overly sensitive. Anyway it's just one of my random thoughts while reading it.

P/S no 1 : If you're reading this and you feel that I am feeling pudgy, portly and altogether plumply ... don't be...^_^ I am not sad or hurt or angry. I just happen to come across the text and feels that it would be interesting if I share it out in my blog. ^_^

See... I'm not ^_^

P/S no 2 :  I am having a hectic cycle this month. So I will not blog and comment as much as I want but I will keep continue reading blogs.^_^

The Promise ( secret garden )

I felt so peaceful after listening to this ...
The Promise - Secret Garden

Truth or Money ?

Lately, I have been watching this reality Tv show
"The moment of Truth".
The title of the show pretty much says it all.
Basically, it's about telling the truth and getting paid for it in a huge amount of money which may come up to about 500 000 USD.
So far, I have yet to see anyone passing the 100 000 USD mark.
Cause in exchage of the money, they hurt feelings of the people
they love ... or not love...or pretend to love....

There was this episode that particularly caught my attention and caused an uproar in US.

Lauren cleri
-the most hated woman in America after the show was aired.

Lauren Cleri’s ex-boyfriend Frank came on the show to ask her a question “If I wanted to get back together with you, would you leave your husband?”

Since her friend Monica didn’t want to hear it, though, she pressed the button to interrupt it.

So they replaced it with another question, still asked by her ex-boyfriend. “Do you believe I am the man you should be married to?” No way to get out of hearing this. She says yes. That answer is true. This is enough to bring her to the $100,000 mark. Her husband tells her to just keep going since it’s not like she can upset him any more. He admits he’s sometimes unhappy with the marriage, not that anybody’s surprised. Her mom wants her to stop now and take the money (Fox, 2008).

If you're curious to how it ends, whether she won the money, whether the marriage survived,then you might want to see this video:

Now the Question is :

Would you risk it all to win a huge amount of money?
After all, Honesty is the best policy!

The truth hurts, but it also sets you free.
But what if it chains someone up in order to set you free just like the show?
Okay, let me rephrase my word.
But what if in the process of setting of yourself free , you hurt the feelings of those you love.

To me,the hardest thing to endure is to have
your loved ones there with you and to be asked questions
that can threaten your relationship with them.

Anyway, after a long ranting, my answer is NO.
No way I'm going to sacrifice my family in exchange for the money.

TRUTHFULLY, 500 000 USD is a big sum of money.
I wouldn't be surprise if there are people out there who are willing
to reveal their darkest secret in order to get the money

Currently on:

Take A Bow (Official Remix) Ft. Q Da Kid - Rihanna

Its either you die or.... I die

There's quite some stuff that is going through my mind recently. 
 Just as I am about to turn off my laptop,
 my mind kept thinking about this movie that I saw
 when I was back in Malaysia(can't remember its name though but it is based on true story) 

  Basically it is about people who give up their places on a lifeboat in order to let the others survive...  

Now my question.

If you were in their shoes, would you give up your place in order to let others survive?

My answer ? 
I............ don't think I will 

 One Simple reason....

When I cant even  give up my seats in the metro
 ( sometimes I pretend to be asleep in order to escape from the "old grandma" .. I know its awful) 
what makes me think that I would give up my life for others.

  I know it is a really weird random thought.

okay, that's it from me. 

Viva La Vida - Coldplay


The word "funeral" has taken a lot of course in my life.

Back when I was in the band during my secondary school days,
I enjoyed going for funerals.
Cause "funeral' back then = my pocket money
Of course its tiring cause we had to march under the sun or rain.
But I have a bunch of great friends.
We laughed,chit-chatted (we only did this when we were blocks away from the funeral home where the service was held)
But when it was time for us to play our best piece to the deceased, we would be very serious.

However as I begin my walk into adulthood, my perspective of " funeral " has changed alot.
Probably because I was put into their shoes.
I have attended Christian and non-Christian funerals.
And I know
that there's a difference in attending Christian and non-Christian funerals.
For some people, death is the end of life
while for others, death is just the beginning of life.

And no matter how you define or compare "funerals"
It doesn't, however, stop the grief.

Excuse me? There's a parcel for you!

Have you ever been 18? 
Do you remember how it was like to be 18, 
and have your whole future stretched out before you, 
glorious opportunities ripe for the taking?

Have you ever had all the adults

 suddenly cornering you and asking you what you want to do with your life? 
Where you want to go? 
Which place to study?

Have you ever waited with sweaty palms,
 waiting to hear someone over the phone telling you whether you had won a college place,
 a scholarship, a competition?
 Have you ever spent nights staring at your ceiling,
 wondering how to make a decision that will greatly impact your future?

Have you ever been torn between your wildest hopes and ambitions; 
and the realistic limitations of finance and your own capabilities? 
Have you ever agonised about whether your plans were in line with the One who has the highest plans for you?

Have you ever believed that you can do anything that you dream of, 
if only you try?
 Have you ever been convinced that in your own small way, 
you can make a difference for the better;
 change the world?

To be naive, to be inexperienced, 
to be hopeful and optimistic and idealistic and pseudo-cynical and insecure all at once.
 To love for the very first time, 
and get your heart crushed like brittle ice under your lover's feet.

And it's all part of a parcel of being 18,
 for the first and last time.
May you be happy being 18 my dear sister...
aLL the best in your exams ya!!! ^_^

My Smile

Okay people ... today I've decided to do something out of my normal entries....
Behold my citizens, I declare that today is FLUFF day, when one can write as much fluff as they want!

Stuffs that make me ^_^ smile :

1.  Travelling

Okay... not by plane
But this!!

2. A warm and cozy bed. (especially when I'm experiencing winter here in Moscow)

3.  My cam-whoring skills

4. Food and that includes pot luck-ing 


5. Chocolate cake.

6. Letters! Bythe way I don't mean bills and advertisementsor even emails but real letters written by
 people. Though I rarely ever get them now, probably because I don't send any...

7. My pets 
(Shiro , Bobby , Mr & Mrs Smith & my beloved Mr. Top Pan )


He has a pair of fake-looking eyeballs.. I mean seriously..don you think so?

My Bobby 

& She is about a size of a chicken ..
and yup she is definitely smaller than a cat

And yes ... she smokes... 

8. The moment especially after a big exam... what a big relieve..

9. Remembering something funny that I did or said months or years ago. 
Time makes good memories better.

You may have noticed that in this list 
I didn't include the perpetual "God, family and friends " list.
 That is because these are so much more
 important to me that
 it doesn't just make me smile,
 it is the foundation of my security and identity. 
and of course it makes me smile deep inside.

Medical Specialty

Veysman, B. Physician, know thyself. BMJ 2005; 331:1529.

For those who wants to know what medical specialty that they want to pursue in future but still unsure may check out this algoritm I found over the internet.

Mine's opthalmology... What about yours?

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!!

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival or should I say Happy Mooncake Festival Ya people!!!
Doesn't it reminds you of your home and family?
Well I do...

Feeling tired...

It's 4.30 am now in Moscow and I'm still not asleep...
Because I need to finish my powerpoint presentation before class tomorrow.
I'm feeling very sleepy now...

sob sob...
miss my bed

Chinese or Malaysian?

The most cliche questions people ask when they 1st meet me!


My dilemma....
Chinese? Malaysian?

I just hate it when people (especially Chinese people) say,
"oh well,I'm not Malaysian. I don't feel like I belong to country. I'm just Chinese, and that is it."
And I understand why -Because the people who rule my country are not secure enough to let go off their power, of their bigotry, of their herd mentality and their selfishness
and are afraid of any change to the status quo.

Remember the countless, numerous forms that we've filled in ever since primary school. The race boxes where you mark "Melayu", "Cina", "India" or "lain-lain".

Why do we feel the need to categorise ourselves by race? Why do we say "I'm Indian" or "I'm Chinese", when really....all that matters is that we are Malaysians.

I mean seriously you don't go out and call an african of French descent a french African. You just call them French.You don't address some people as an Italian American. You just call them Americans... right!

I am not saying that I should forget the fact that I am a chinese.In fact I am a chinese.And I am proud of it.And of course it does not mean that as the
4th generation emigrant of me,I have no rights to identify myself with the country that my ancestors originated from. Just because my great great grandparents moved to a faraway land, risking their lives in order to seek a better life; means I should divorced my roots entirely?

And it matters so much to me that I'm both a Malaysian and Chinese.Simple because
being both is not a crime.
The crime is only when we let ethnicity separating us instead of having nationality uniting us.

Russian Visa

Today marks the 5th day of my foot print on the land of Russia.But these 5 days doesn't pass by easily. The Russian government suddenly decides that everybody who steps into their country should must have their visas done within 3 working days regardless of even if your present visa expire two or three months later.

Failure to do so will cause one to pay a fine of 1000 roubles (about RM 140) for a day late.And so... now all foreigners studying in MMA rushes to queue in the "dekanat" (dean's office) in order to get their visas done.Did I mention queue? Opps... Does this look like a queue to you ?

We started queueing since 8.30 am yesterday although the office would only be open at 2 pm.And thank God we're able to settle our visas. This scenario has been an every year thing for us in MMA.
Sigh...How I wish things will be different next year.

A must when queueing up - MP3 and Food.

Words of Wisdom:

Never drink water there cause you don't want to end up going to the loo often.